Are You Holding On To Toxic Friendships?
Let me start off by saying this has NOTHING to do with thinking you're 'better' than anyone - and everything to do with valuing your time, energy and mental health.
Friendships, relationships and connections should support and empower each other. We should inspire and be inspired to grow and move better. However, a lot of times relationships are formed as a coping mechanism or a way to escape the actual healing that should be taking place within.
Of course you can befriend people when you aren't at your best point but keep in mind that your vibrations reflects your outside world, and a lot of times we are attracting the very things in our lives we may not need at the time.
I want you to ask yourself a series of questions. Really think about the answer and how the question itself makes you feel. This is meant to evaluate your circle and see if you are surrounded by the right energy.
1. How did you meet?
This one may seem silly, but it is still important to think about. What was the environment like when you met? Was it a chaotic introduction or did it feel natural? The way you meet someone sets the tone for the relationship. Keep this in mind when making connections in the future.
2. Does your friend get more hype when you win, or when there's drama?
Pay attention to what your friendship actually feeds and entertains. Is your friend celebrating your wins or do they seem more engaged when there's problems? A lot of times misery enjoying your company is cloaked as that "ride or die" friend. Beware.
3. Are you all really friends, or do you just 'turn up' together?
This one was tricky for me because I have some friends that I enjoy partying with but outside of that we don't really connect on much. I guess the question here is, are they showing empathy for you as a person? Or is the relationship out of convenience? It's great to party and have fun, but I'd be very cautious if the only thing we have in common is alcohol based.
4. Is that REALLY a joke or were you just sneak dissed in front of other people?
Yes, we play and joke - and trust me, me and my friends will ROAST tf out of each other. But some things are TOO FAR. You know when your friend is playing around and when they are trying to actually diss you.
5. Is your friend ALWAYS telling you other people's business?
Everytime you link up with your bestie, they have the scoop on who's doing what (or who's doing who) and you need to ask yourself - are they doing the same thing to you? If your close pal is always talking trash, chances are they can't be trusted.
6. Are they never satisfied? Never happy?
It's perfectly normal to have a bad day, week - even year. But when you try to uplift someone who doesn't want to be better, you end up drained yourself. Watch out for people who are always negative, mean or ungrateful.
7. Are they self centered?
Love yourself of course... but no one person should dominate an entire relationship let alone a conversation. Monitor your interactions and see if you are being kept around because you are cared for or because you boost the ego of a selfish person.
8. Is your friend a liar, cheater or super judgmental person?
How can you really build a friendship on lies? If your friend betrays their close loved ones, spouse and makes it a habit to put others down who may be different.... are they REALLY your friend? Make sure you aren't an accessory to a toxic friendship.
There are tons of ways people can be toxic friends and a lot of times its not really anyone's fault. Chances are this is what they were exposed to most of their lives. Nevertheless, it is our responsibility to protect our energy and set the tone for how we want to be treated. If you are in a toxic friendship, it may hurt to say goodbye but you have to do what's right for you.
- NX
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